16

THE AWAKENING OF A TRANSVESTITE (Concluded)

When Dad came home that evening I was very reluctant to face him, hiding in the kitchen. Mother, however, re- alizing that it had to be faced took me by the hand and led me into his presence. He stood looking at me for a long time, while I blushed all over, finally saying, in a resigned tone of voice, "I give up".

In some ways that was worse than a violent denuncia- tion and I could only thank that the only prospect was for me too, to give up. No one but another like myself can re- alize how I felt at Dad's very effective, and backwards method of defeating any further prospects. So,doubly painful because I had just achieved a really good appearance There seemed no out but to get my hair cut the next day and never again wear dresses I was about to tell him I would do so when Mother spoke up. She explained to Dad that there was no need for him, "to give up" as it had all been her idea First she showed him my permanent and on his admission that the effect was decidedly attractive asked him if he wanted me running around in boy's clothes with a hairdo like that?

He replied, "No, but since it was only a trial on K- there is no reason why he shouldnt have it cut right after the effect of the permanent had been observed "?

There in the latter portion of his statement, he laid himself wide open for Mother, who came right back at him "Why, you don't think for a minute that a few hours tell the story on a permanent do you?" "In fact, if you stop to think a minute, you'll realize that I sometimes have to wait weeks before I am sure how mine will turn out. Now dont you remember that?" Faced by her accusing statements he could do nothing but mumble some agreement.

Then she continued, "Well, since I cant possibly tell about K--'s hair for several days you can take your choice. I'm not going to let him get it cut now and waste a whole morning's work, and I wont ask that he stay inside all the time either. What's it to be? Is he to go out in boys